Discernment Counseling

Sometimes one spouse is leaning into the marriage while the other spouse is leaning out. Or, both spouses are just not sure if they want to do this anymore. But neither one is ready to pull the plug completely. Traditional couples counseling is not the best fit for these situations.

Ideal for couples who are unsure if the marriage can continue

Goal is confidence and clarity, not connection

Traditional couples therapy focuses on improving the relationship. Discernment counseling is different. The goal is to help both people gain clarity about whether to work on the marriage, keep things the same, or move toward separation with greater understanding and less chaos.

Longer sessions, shorter time span

Sessions are highly structured and include a combination of couple conversations and one-on-one time with each partner. Discernment counseling is brief and focused. Sessions are two hours long, allowing enough time to slow things down, understand the patterns in the relationship, and explore options thoughtfully. Most couples complete the process within one to five sessions.

Certification matters

I’m a certified discernment counselor and have completed training through the Doherty Relationship Institute. Certification matters because discernment counseling is a specialized process with a specific structure, goals, and approach. When couples are deciding whether to repair a marriage or move toward separation, experience and proper training matter.

Let's get started

  • Discernment counseling is a good fit if one or both partners feel uncertain about the future of the marriage. It provides the structure and support needed to examine what’s happening in the relationship. We’ll take a closer look at the options: repairing the relationship, separation, or continuing as things are for now.

  • It’s common for couples to enter discernment counseling when divorce is already on the table. If you see value in exploring all the possibilities - even if the chance of repairing the marriage feels remote - then discernment counseling can be helpful.

  • We’ll meet together at first and then break out into individual sessions, before coming together at the end. This allows us to understand the relationship from both perspectives and fully consider the possible paths forward. We’ll wrap up each session by checking in where each of you stands and deciding if it would help to meet again..

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